Bourani : The path to true hap-penis!

The Bourani Festival in Tyrnavos is probably the dirtiest "Clean Monday" event in the world! It happens the Monday following the Sunday Carnival Parade of Floats. Although this is part of the Greek Orthodox lent celebration it obviously has strong pre-Christian pagan fertility influences as well. The Penis is King at this festival and you will see plenty of them represented in various forms and materials. Street venders sell a wide assortment of penis candies, penis pottery, penis lighter holders, penis bottle decanters, wooden penis sculptures, penis drinking mugs, penis ashtrays, penis cakes.

For the classier festival goer there are nicely decorated boxes containing a bottle of local wine or Tsipouro (local hard liqueur made from grape rinds) and a big ceramic penis. There is even a giant balloon penis floating above the town on this day. The spectators must kiss a large penis before being allowed into the village square. Those that kiss the penis get marked with charcoal across their face, much like the Ash Wednesday Tradition.

During the day, revelers take a break from the village square and go up to the Prophet Illias hill to eat a spinach soup called Bourani free of charge. Most Greek towns traditionally make bean soup for Clean Monday. While up there they partake in kite flying as well. Then they return to the village square to music, dancing and free Tsipouro. The men participate in a traditional dance where they rub against ground with different parts of their bodies singing “dirty” satirical songs, such as the “How do the Devil’s monks grind the pepper?”. Pepper is a frequent metaphor for sex in the Greek folk poetry. So if ever you are in Greece at this time of the year don't forget to catch this fun filled family event.

Like Mary Antoinette says "Let them eat cake!"

Festival guard standing erect!

And for the kids...pop-corn and penis lollipops!

Local wine, tsipouro and penis mugs...

A wide variety of phallic objects.

Gift box of Tsipouro and ceramic penis.

Do you want to lick my lollipop...!

Penises in a variety of Greek soccer team colors. Go team go!

The Carnival Bourani soup chef, holding a big..."pepper"!

A witch of Thessaly riding a...broomstick!

It's a bird...it's a plane...no, it's SUPER PENIS!

Carnival - Mardi Gras madness in Tyrnavos!

The Carnival in Tyrnavos is the best and the strangest in all of Greece. Literally thousands of people come to this small town in Thessaly to celebrate it every year. The event has come under attack from the Orthodox church and other conservative groups for some of its overtly sexual overtones. The events last one month with concerts, theater, mascarade balls and street parties.


The festival concludes with a parade of floats on the last Sunday before lent. The parade has school groups, youth groups and adult organizations participating with costumed groups and floats. Everyone in costumes, from children dressed as clowns, cowboys, cheerleaders to adults in sexy nurses and doctors uniforms performing lewd sexual acts on the road. The strange mix shows how the modern Greeks have found a way to blend the early spring fertility rites with the Christian resurrection ceremonies. Clean Monday following Parade Sunday gets even more wantonly pagan but we will wait until tomorrow to show you that, as it is truly worthy of its own posting.

Sexy nurses and doctors "riding" their patient! 

A quieter side of Carnival in Elassona, a town near Tyrnavos.

The Carnival crowd having fun!

The burning of the Carnival King at the end of the Parade.

No Carnival is complete without its transvestites..!

Last but not least, the final float of the parade.

No Peter Pan, but we have Pan's Peter...

Riding into Larisa!

Βυσσ'νί θύελλα, σούζα τ' αλογάκι, ιιιιιιιιι χα!!!

The horse is the symbol of Larisa the capital of and also the largest city in Thessaly. Larisa means "stronghold" in the ancient language of Pelasgian, an early Greek culture. There is archeological evidence that man settled here over 12,000 years ago. The region of Thessaly was famous for its horseman since times of antiquity. The very best of Greece's cavalry came from here. Greek mythology states that Poseidon, the God of the oceans, created horses and he likely first placed them upon the earth here. This was also the land of the Centaurs, the mythological creatures that were half man and half horse. This shows just how much these people love their horses !!!

Larisa is not the most attractive city in Greece, but it has many facilities and stores, making it the hub of the region. It is all function and little form. There is an exceptionally well-preserved Ancient Theater that is well worth a few minutes of your time. There is an Acropolis, but unfortunately it has been covered with buildings. Some say that Achilles was born here. It is more likely that he was born in Farsala, a small town in the region, but he definitely knew the town. He certainly would have passed through here on his way to Mount Pillion to study under Chiron the Centaur.

Hippocrates, the father of modern medicine, was born in Kos, a Greek island off the coast of Turkey, but he died here in Larisa. If the medical system was as poor here then as it is now i am quite certain he died awaiting treatment. Modern Larisa is famous for two things: very "friendly" women ;) and Lakis Lazopoulos,the  most famous comedian in all of Greece (he also had a roll in the fantastic movie "El Greco"). So if you are looking for a quick laugh or a one night stand, this is a great place to spend a weekend...

A statue of Hippocrates.

The Ancient Roman Theater of Larisa.

Ancient Roman ruins downtown Larisa.

Graffiti in Greek: "Greek-fitti"

Monemvasia is a...blast!

FOR THOSE ABOUT TO ROCK...WE SALUTE YOU!!! Well i am a real Son of a Gun and i am back on the Peloponnese. Monemvasia is a fantastic fortified medieval town on a small island just off the south east coast of the Peloponnese. It is joined to the mainland by a 200 meter long causeway. The name means single entrance, which along with its imposing walls made it almost impossible to invade. It became a very wealthy town because of its secure defenses and strategic position for sea trade. 

The town was founded in 583 AD withstanding several invasion attempts before falling to the Crusaders under William II of Villehardouin in 1248. The town surrendered under honorable terms after a three year siege. The fortified town begins at sea level and climbs a staggering 100 meters to a plateau called Upper Monemvαsia. 

Vehicles are not allowed within the fortified walls making it a very pleasant place to stroll and look around. Inside the gates the town has beautiful narrow walkways weaving their way up to the summit. You will find charming little cafes, restaurants, boutiques and hotels throughout the lower part of the town with most of them boasting a wonderful view of the sea. All of these businesses are tastefully built inside the original historic buildings of the town which still has several original Byzantine churches as well. In the summer the island gets swamped by well healed Greeks, honeymooners and foreign tourists so it's best to get there early if you want to have a really good look.

The causeway leading to Monemvasia.

Romancing on the stone...

Lovely place for a lunch or simply a stroll.

A pirate's view of the sea...

A view from Upper Monemvasia.

Meteora... hanging between heaven and earth!!

This is easily one of my favorite places in all of Greece, some claim that it is one of the most beautiful places on the planet. As you cross the flat Thessalian plain a forest of Giant Standing Stones spring up on the horizon. About 1000 of these gigantic rocks separate the plains with the Pindus Mountains. Monks began using caves in the area as retreats in the 9th century and they built the first of 26 monasteries in the 11th century. During World War II the Nazi's bombed and looted these monasteries extensively. Becoming a monk has become a less fashionable vocation these days so all but six have been abandoned.

In 1981 the James Bond film, "For your Eyes Only" featured The Holy Trinity monastery here. Surprisingly the monks were unable to convince Bond to join the brotherhood. The area is a wonderful place for  hikers and spelunkers. The Theopetra caves in the area have been inhabited for over 50,000 years. The oldest known man made structure on the planet is a 27,000 year old wall inside the cave. Humans first interior renovations, these cave men had style. Meteora is one place i could never get bored and i will come back to again and again. If ever you plan to come to Greece put Meteora on your bucket list.  

Imagine the work building these monasteries!

"Don't jump kitty, there is still reason to live!"

Can i borrow your ladder..?

I was refused entry because of the...dress code!

Shrines - Rooftop view of Mount Olympus!

I am so well loved by my fellow countrymen that they have built thousands of small roadside houses throughout Greece in the hopes that i will come visit them. Just joking ! These are roadside Greek Orthodox shrines, a custom "borrowed" from earlier pagan days.They usually have candles, bottles of consecrated oil and water, religious icons and sometimes pictures of loved ones. These shrines often mark a place where a fatal accident occurred (in remembrance) or where an accident was miraculously prevented (to give thanks). There are a wide variety of styles of these shrines adding much character to the Greek landscape. Last week out of curiosity,i counted roadside shrines for one hour and the total reached 118. Thanks to this tradition i have saved thousands of Euros throughout the years in hotel costs.
This particular picture has the stunning background of Mount Olympus!

Blue and white are very common colors here in Greece.

So many icons, so little space...

The skyscraper of shrines!

Heavy-metal shrine!

Old-school shrine! And Mount Olympus in the background...!

Greece is a Riot !

Here i am at a protest in a square in downtown Larisa, four hours north of Athens. At first the protests were only in Athens but now that the crisis is getting worse the protests are spreading throughout the rest of the country. Always fun to catch a protest while enjoying a souvlaki and a shot of ouzo on one of the lovely tavern patios.

CRISIS...WHAT CRISIS !!!

CRISIS...WHAT CRISIS !!!! We Greeks are still eating like Kings. This is a nice plate of Kalamaria (calamari) with a side dish of the taverns homemade tzatziki and homemade bread. We are chillin in one of the many open air beach front restaurants in Gefyra, facing the amazing island fortress of Monemvasia. Incredibly tasty, fresh seafood can be found in these little beach side eateries throughout coastal Greece. Greek food traditionally uses few ingredients and is cooked very simply...but it is simply delicious.

Happy Valentine's Day everyone!!! ♥ ♥

Happy Valentine's Day everyone!!!!!!!! ♥ ♥

I spent the Valentine's Day in a tavern across from the Archaeological Museum in Dion, Greece. Here i am with Aphrodite and...who's that guy over there??!!

Ancient Theater of Epidavros

Here i am in the Ancient Theater of Epidavros. This is the best preserved theater in all of Greece and one of my very favorite archeological sites. The acoustics here are absolutely amazing. This site was one of the earliest centers of medicine in the known world and sanctuary of Asclepius, the God of Medicine. The sense of the sacred is still very strong here, much like Delphi. I could return to this site over and over again and strongly suggest anyone visiting Greece to make this one of the sites they put on their priority list. It is on the Peloponnese, making it close to many other scenic and historic sites as well.

Throughout the theater you can hear a pin drop from where i'm standing!

The theater was built inside a natural curve in the hillside, creating its famous acoustics.

The seating is still fantastically well-preserved!

Ancient Pella, Greece

This is the site of Ancient Pella, birthplace of Phillipe the II and his son Alexander the Great. This was the site of the royal home of the rulers of Macedonia. From here Alexander went on to conquer most of the known world at that time. Pella now has a brand new museum that is one of the best i have seen. Other than that, the town has little to offer visitors, except a few bakeries and restaurants around the town square. There are a few nice mosaics and a big sculpture of Alexander on horseback, though not as impressive as the one on the beachfront in Thessaloniki.